Trigger Warning: sexual assault.
We spent a week learning about godly friends, the need to pray for them and how to be one. Today, we look at the opposite of such relationships - ungodly friendships.
The Bible teaches us to pay attention to the quality of friends we keep. Proverbs 18:24 - One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Nowhere is this issue of ruinous friends better displayed than in the relationship between Amnon and Jonadab (2 Samuel 13).
Amnon was David's first son and thus the royal prince of the kingdom. As his father had married a number of women, he had a large family with many brothers and sisters. One such sibling was Tamar and sadly, he had an ungodly desire for her. 2 Samuel 13:1-2 - In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David. 2 Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself ill. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.
For the average person, falling in love with a sibling, albeit one with a different mother, would never come to mind. However, Amnon dwelled on this evil idea till it became an obsession. He confided in Jonadab who was not only his friend and adviser, but was also a cousin. Instead of discouraging such thoughts, Jonadab concocted a plan to get Tamar to the prince's room. Amnon followed the plan and when alone with his sister, he raped her. Tamar's life was shattered and her brother, Absalom, murdered Amnon in revenge. The consequences didn't end there, however. Absalom resented his father for not punishing Amnon, leading Him to depose David, violently assault his father's concubines in public and ultimately dying in battle against his father's troops.
Had Amnon put God's word before the counsel of an evil friend, he would not have abused and assaulted his own sister. After all, the word states in Leviticus 18:9 - Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere. Instead, he listened to someone who encouraged his evil desires and that led to family dysfunction and death.
Another person with ungodly friends was Rehoboam. He became king after the death of his father, King Solomon. When he ascended to the throne, the people pleaded with him to reduce the taxes (1 Kings 12:4). He sought the wisdom of his late father's advisers who encouraged him to treat the peoples request favorably. He then opted to also get the opinion of his friends, young men who were inexperienced in statecraft. They encouraged him to mock the people and threaten to increase their taxes.
The Bible tells us in 1 Kings 12:13 - But Rehoboam spoke harshly to the people, for he rejected the advice of the older counselors. This choice to follow his friends' advice was a contributing factor to the kingdom splitting into two. Ten tribes went on their own to establish the Kingdom of Israel leaving Rehoboam to lead his tribe, Judah, and the tribe of Benjamin in the Kingdom of Judah.
God does not want us to have ungodly friends because like Jonadab and Rehoboam's friends they lack godly wisdom. Having such people in one's life is a surefire way to experience defeat, ruin, and possibly death. We must pray for godly friends filled with the fear of the Lord, His wisdom and His word. These are the friends we need to stick by us through the good and bad times. These kinds become like family and value our physical and spiritual interests.
Father, transform the lives of Your people. Turn things around for them. Say to the evil prince oppressing them that its time is up. Take the turban from its head. Lift the lowly. Declare that their time has come (Ezekiel 21:25).
IJMN, Amen.